Teen Queens: Lady Jane Grey

Sorry about how late this post is. I got a little caught up in writing a goodbye to Harry Potter (which will be posted on Wednesday) and making an End of Harry Potter playlist for the premiere (which will also be posted on Thursday. 31 songs guaranteed to turn any Potter fan into a gibbering pile of goo. Well, and get them psyched for the premiere). And it's a little short, but that's because of the queen it's about: Lady Jane Grey, the nine day queen.

To fully understand Jane, you may need just a little bit of background on her. The first thing you should know is that she was Elizabeth I's cousin. Yes, she was related to the mass of issues and drama that was the Tudor family. She was the granddaughter of Henry VIII's sister Mary (and to be confusing, her father's name was also Henry. I know, I know. The royals are crazy. Want to know something even more bizarre? Mary Queen of Scots and her husband, Henry Stuart, shared a grandmother).

So of course, Jane has issues just from being part of that whole messed up family. Now, Henry VIII's son Edward IV took the throne when Henry died, but he was still young, with a council of Lords to help him rule. Sadly, his youth meant that he was easier to manipulate.

Thomas Seymour, uncle to the young king wrote to Jane's parents. He wished for Jane to be his ward and hinted that in exchange for her wardship, he would get her married to Edward, a position of authority and power. Jane went to live with Henry VIII's last wife, Katherine Parr, Thomas Seymour (her husband) and Princess Elizabeth (who was later sent away because of a scandal with Thomas Seymour). It seemed Thomas Seymour was a man with a plan.

But a year passed and nothing happened. Katherine died and Jane's parents decided they wanted her home. Thomas pleaded for a little more time, saying his mother would come stay and take care of the girl, adding extra money on his bond of wardship to sweeten the deal. Jane's parents agreed.

John Dudley, seeing the chance to steal power for himself and be appointed Lord Protector (almost as good as King with Edward so young), pounced on opportunity. He had Thomas arrested and as Parliament was in session instead of a trial a bill of attainder (a document declaring one guilty without trial) was drawn up and handed over to the Lord Protector (Thomas's own brother Edward Seymour) to sign.

Edward Seymour was understandably reluctant to sign this document, just what Dudley was hoping for. He appealed to the king, who cared little for either of his uncles. King Edward signed the writ and Thomas was executed. Edward Seymour was seen as having executed his own brother and the public turned against him--exactly as Dudley had hoped. Dudley and a small group of soldiers captured Edward as he tried to flee. Edward was sent to the Tower.

Dudley had another ace up his sleeve when it came to dealing with King Edward: he had been part of the council of Henry VIII, one of the most volatile kings in history. He knew how to deal with Edward, flattering him and weaseling in next to the king.

Meanwhile, Jane had been returned to her family. But it was not a happy family reunion. Jane's home life was filled with physical abuse typical to the era (slaps, pinches and the like). She had grown into a well-educated and pious young woman, but she was critical of her parents' lives, which most likely led to the "discipline" her parents employed.

By now Edward was very sickly. It seemed unlikely he would live long as king or be able to produce an heir. Because of the tenuous grip Protestantism had on England, this created a succession dilemma.

For, you see, Edward wanted to carry on his father's legacy and make Protestantism the foremost religion of England, with the king as its head. But, next in line for the throne was Mary I, a stalwart Catholic. And thus a power struggle was born. And Dudley saw his opportunity to achieve even more influence and power (and to remain in favor, which would not happen if Mary took the throne).

He approached Jane's parents with a plan, marry his son Guildford to Jane (a girl he saw an amenable enough that he could bend her to his will) and place them on the throne in Mary's place. Jane's parents, seeing the opportunity for wealth and power agreed. Jane tried to protest, but was threatened with physical and verbal abuse.

Jane did not like John Dudley, and feared him, but she also did not want Mary on the throne, despising her cousin's religious beliefs. She was devoted to her Protestant beliefs and wanted to keep the country on what she saw as the correct path toward salvation. However, she disliked her in-laws even more than her parents and remained in her parents home rather than with Guildford after their marriage.

Edward was easily persuaded to instead place Jane on the throne. He was similarly devoted to his religion and knew that with Mary as queen Protestantism would be quashed. So he wrote the Device for Succession, a document denouncing Mary and Elizabeth as illegitimate (the only reason he would be able to alter his father's divine will) and wrote that they were likely to marry foreign husbands who would make plans without considering the best thing for England.

Dudley lobbied hard in Parliament to get this document approved, for unless they approved it the Act of Succession written by Henry VIII would override it. At this time Jane was told by her mother-in-law that Edward was dying, had named her as successor and she must return to the Dudley's home.

We don't know whether Jane knew of John Dudley's plans to place her on the throne. Really, it doesn't matter if she did, as there is nothing she could have done to derail Dudley's plans. But I choose to think that she knew nothing about this plot and would have been appalled. Odds are all she wanted from life was to be left alone with her books and God. Because if all of this went wrong (and oh, it would go wrong) Jane would be screwed.

Jane had a period of illness where she was sent from the Dudley's home, as they were concerned for her health. But upon her return John Dudley and a group of distinguished nobles greeted her and informed her of the King's death. They then dropped the bombshell that she was now Queen. Jane was stunned and did nothing to show that she was glad for the queenship. She murmured a prayer to God, saying if this was His will she would trust in Him to help her.

Jane was installed in the Royal Apartments in the Tower of London, traditional for all monarchs of England. The royal crown was brought for Jane to try on, which she hesitated at doing, knowing that being the queen was a dangerous position to be in. The Lord Treasurer told her to try it on and said another would be made for her husband to crown him King.

Jane did not care for her husband, and she despised the Dudleys. In that moment she snapped, realizing the full extent of John Dudley's plan. She told those assembled that Guildford could be made a duke, but she would never make him King. Guildford and his mother argued vehemently, but Jane would not back down.

Meanwhile, Mary was still free and a threat to Jane's crown. A summons was sent for Mary to come to her brother's deathbed. Mary rode for the palace, but was warned that a trap was waiting and turned back before Dudley's forces could capture her. She eluded the men sent after her and this was the start of the end for Jane.

Jane was crowned as queen. But she was queen for a mere nine days before Mary's supporters overthrew her and imprisoned her in the same Tower she'd been staying in. Mary was placed on the throne and John Dudley's plans went up in smoke.

Mary, though called Bloody Mary for her frightening attack of heretics, was not a completely heartless woman. She did not intend to kill a sixteen year old girl, her own cousin, for a plot she surely had no part in. Jane would stay in the Tower until Mary's reign was secure and then she would be released.

But Jane had stupid, power-hungry relatives. Her father led an uprising against Mary and forced her hand. Mary couldn't leave her cousin alive now. She had to make and example of her. And so Jane Grey, the nine day queen was put to death, for a rebellion she most likely took no part in. Her biggest crime was simply having royal blood and being in the sights of ambitious men.

I don't think Jane wanted the crown. I think that given the choice between being queen and becoming a nun, Jane would happily have chosen the convent. And maybe I just like to see the good in people. Maybe I'm sentimental because she was young and her story seems to be a tragic one. But I really do think that she never wanted to be queen.

There is a wonderful book I read about Jane called An Innocent Traitor by Allison Weir. It tells Jane's story from multiple points of view, Jane's, Mary's, Dudley's, Jane's parents. Jane's governess'. It is a fascinating book and is very well written. I highly recommend it. Another tragic teen queen. I need to find a young woman whose story ends well.

History of Independence and the Wrath of Jefferson

Today is the Fourth of July, which in America means BBQs and beer and Fireworks (because lighting stuff on fire while intoxicated is a good idea). It's the day we as a country have dedicated to celebrating our independence from Britain and tyranny. Yeah, it sounds like a very impressive day for what boils down to eating a lot (as happens with most of our holidays) and becoming pyromaniacs.

This is not to say that I don't love the Fourth of July though. There's something comforting about the rituals of dressing in red, white and blue, eating burgers and potato salad until you can't move, and watching colorful fire blow up in the sky. I missed it terribly when I was in England last Fourth of July (I even pulled on my Fourth of July tee shirt that matched my family's and smiled at the bangs of whoever was setting off fireworks outside).

However, as also happens with many of our holidays, when asked what the history behind the holiday is, we tend to mutter some watered down story we learned in elementary school and never deviated from. So why the 4th of July?

Well, contrary to popular belief, the Fourth was not the day that we received our independence from Britain. Nor did we really achieve independence in 1776, although that is the year we formed our country and its government. And it was when the Revolutionary War began in earnest, a war that lasted eight years (beginning with skirmishes in 1775 and ending with our independence being secured in 1783).

However, the Fourth of July does have to do with the Declaration of Independence. On June 11, 1776, a committee was formed to write the declaration. This committee was made up of Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, John Adams, and two men who were apparently gypped on the recognition scales: Robert R. Livingston, and Roger Sherman. The committee asked Thomas Jefferson to draft the declaration.

Now, Thomas Jefferson was a young man, and had a fiery revolutionary soul. So his declaration was a kind of "We're making our own country, screw you" to King George and Britain. His document (which can be read here although you will have to scroll down to nearly the end) is full of very strong language, denouncing the rule of Britain. And yes, much of that same language is in the version of the Declaration that we are familiar with today. But this is to an even greater degree.

Congress believed that Jefferson's wording may be just a bit stronger than they wanted, and they spent July 1-4 locked in Independence Hall in Philadelphia arguing the wording and tweaking it to their liking. On July 4th, it was finally approved by all. It wasn't signed and sent to England until August.

So basically we celebrate the fact that 56 men from 13 different colonies finally agreed on what they wanted this document to say. Which, when you think about it is actually quite a feat, considering all these men were politicians and from differing parties. Remember all of the arguing and crap that went on when they were trying to approve the health care plan? Now imagine that, but with more dissenting ideologies and with treason.

Thomas Jefferson it turns out was actually very ticked off about the changes made to his document. So ticked off that not only did he keep the changes made to his draft, he kept his original copy. Now, this is in a time when it wasn't a simple matter to have multiple copies. If he got his draft wet or it was torn, that was it. It had to be preserved carefully or it would be lost.

So he managed to keep both the published draft and his original copy. In his autobiography, he wrote his draft in and everything that Congress took out was written in very angry red pen with what they put in written in blue. Jefferson was probably one correction away from completely losing his mind and becoming a serial killer, seeking vengeance on all who dared question his genius.

Sorry, off on a tangent. I just really love the idea of righteous anger Jefferson stewing for years before publishing his autobiography. So anyway, as you go and eat your hot dogs and burgers, remember that we are actually celebrating 56 men actually being able to agree on something. And remember, the fireworks stand for the righteous anger of Thomas Jefferson

Teen Queens: Marie Antoinette

Yes, there was no book post this past week, which I apologize for (although I did put up three posts, so it all evens out. Kind of). But I finally finished editing my novel, which means that I will have much more time for reading and making book posts (hopefully). The two weeks or so may be kind of off, since I'll be in Bellingham again visiting friends, but I will try to get them posted on time.

Now onto our Teen Queen.

Imagine that you are fourteen years old and you are sent away from everyone and everything you know, everything you love. You are sent to a country where you are held in the public eye every moment of your life. And the public hates you, simply because of your nationality. And when you get to this country, you are married to a boy you have practically nothing in common with and then told to produce a boy as soon as possible, being blamed when you and your husband remain childless.

This was the early life of Marie Antoinette, the last queen of France. She was the fifteenth child of the Emperor and Empress of the Roman Empire. Her mother, Marie Therese, was a demanding woman, who expected perfection of her children. But she was also a capable ruler, beloved of her subjects. And while she tried to keep a close eye on her children's education, she left the job mostly to governesses. Marie Antionette's governess spoiled the girl, letting her spend more time playing than studying.

Antonia, as she was called by her family, was in awe of her mother and actually closer to her father, Francis Stephen I. Her family was a happy one, with her parents married for love rather than power, but when Antonia was 10 her father died. Four years later, her mother arranged the betrothal of her daughter to the Dauphin of France, Louis XVI.

Fifteen year old Louis was a painfully shy, awkward, chubby boy who preferred hunting and playing with locks to performing his royal duties. At first, Marie Antoinette was a welcomed contrast to their solemn heir. But life in France was much stricter than she was used to and Antonia ended up creating court faux pas, as well as making unwise choices in friends.

She created new (useless) offices for her friends to give them a higher station at court and spent much money on clothing and jewelry, as well as redecorating her homes. She was also generous to the poor and unfortunate, but all the people saw were her expensive and frivolous tastes. When she and Louis ascended the crown at 20, the fears over her frivolity turned to resentment and hate, which helped contribute to the French Revolution. And the country fears the fact that even after five years their newly crowned King and Queen are still childless.

Finally, three years after their ascension to the throne, Marie produces a daughter, who they name Marie Therese Charlotte after the baby's grandmother. Three years later, the couple also has a son, who they name (what else?) Louis Charles. Yes, apparently no royalty is known for their originality in the name department. (The name of her third son (born four years after his brother)? Louis Joeseph.)

Sadly, Marie's first son died young due to a respiratory failure. The couple also had a four child, a daughter named Marie Sophie Elene Beatrix. But the girl died in her first year of life due to tuberculosis. There is a famous painting of Marie with her children.

In this painting Marie Therese is standing next to her mother, who has Louis Joseph on her lap. Louis Charles is pulling aside the bassinet covering. It's believed that Marie Sophie was originally in the bassinet but was painted out at the last minute.

At the birth of her children, Marie settled down and cut back on her extravagant ways. But in the public's opinion, the damage had been done. And as a foreigner, she made the perfect scapegoat for a country looking for an excuse. A combination of crop failings and a harsh winter as well as Louis XVI's declaration that the nobles have 2/3 of the votes in court causes unrest in the city, setting the stage for the French Revolution.

In 1789, a mob of women (and perhaps some men dressed as women under the notion the royal guards would be more hesitant to fire upon women) march to the palace, calling for bread and the Queen's blood. Marie's guards are killed protecting her from the crowd. Encouraged by Lafayette, the King's commander-in-chief, to address the crowd, Marie bravely stood at her balcony, facing down those who called for her death.

The entire family was taken captive after this episode, imprisoned in one of their palaces, the Tuileries, where they remained for two years. A friend of the family organized their escape, but Marie refused to be separated from her children, insisting the entire family ride in a large, slow coach, rather than two faster ones. This decision led to their capture.

Louis XVI lost hope at this point and it fell to Marie to negotiate with the revolutionaries on her family's behalf. But she also secretly pleaded with Austria to intercede and save them. Austria went to war with France and the entire family was charged with treason. In 1792 the monarchy was abolished and the family was moved to Temple Prison.

One kindness was bestowed upon the family; they were all allowed to stay together. They were also treated fairly well, but that December Louis' trial began and in January he was found guilty and executed via guillotine. Louis' brother, who had fled years earlier, declared Louis Charles to be the new king.

For a time, Marie's children were allowed to remain in her cell with her, though they were often ill. But to spite her, Marie's jailers decided to separate her from her son, and placed him in a cell below hers where she could hear him crying. The boy was only ten. A few weeks later, Marie's daughter was taken from her as well.

Finally the night came where she was roughly awakened and taken to a separate prison. She never saw her children again. She was tried and sentenced to death by guillotine. Taken through the streets in an open cart, Marie maintained her composure and dignity to the very end. Her last words were to her executioner, whose foot she had stepped on. She said, "Monsieur, I ask your pardon. I did not mean to do it on purpose."

Louis Charles was kept in his prison cell until his death from tuberculosis. But Marie Therese managed to survive the Revolution. She married her cousin Louis-Antoine, Duc d'Angouleme. She had no children.

Marie's story is a sad one. She was punished mostly for being a foreign and caught in the crosshairs of a country angry at injustice. Is didn't matter that she could have been a great ruler or that she was a generous Queen (her famous words "Let them eat cake" supposedly said gaily in response to pleas for bread by those at the palace gates were never spoken by her and were most likely penned by an incensed revolutionary). The people needed someone to blame and the monarchy was the easiest target.

One book I suggest to get inside the head of young Marie Antoinette is the Royal Diaries book on her, by Kathryn Lasky. It shows a young girl who is very alone and makes some bad decisions in friends simply because she is lonely. I think this may be a sympathetic view of her. But her story was rather tragic. I like the idea of not blaming her more.

Teen Queens: Cleopatra VII

If you have ever been the parent of a teenager or remember yourself as a teen, you may realize that these are not the people you want in charge of your country. Teens are not usually known for their ability to empathize and think outside themselves (this is not to say that compassionate and unself-centered teens don't exist. They are just rare). They are not the people you want to give power and wealth without restrictions.

But throughout history, there have been women who begin their reign as teenagers. Sometimes this ends well, sometimes not so much. Cleopatra is one of these teenaged queens

All that most people know about Cleopatra is that she was rolled in a rug, played by Elizabeth Taylor (if they are old enough to a) know who that is and b) cared enough to watch the movie), and killed by a snake. Some remember it was an asp because it sounds very close to another three letter word that starts with A.

Cleopatra was the last ruler from the House of Ptolemy (toe-leh-me), the family that had ruled Egypt for centuries. She was born in 61 BC to Ptolemy VII and Cleopatra V. She was given the name Cleopatra VII Philopator. Philopator means father lover (it does not mean beloved of her father) in Greek, the language of the rulers of Egypt. Cleopatra was the first ruler to actually learn the Egyptian language in the 300 years her family ruled the country. She also spoke seven other languages including Hebrew and Latin.

Cleopatra's father was considered weak by those he ruled and his court was fraught with violence. He went to Rome multiple times to buy the support of the Romans. While he was gone on one of these trips, Cleopatra's older sister Cleopatra VI Tryphaena seized control of the throne, but died soon after under suspicious circumstances. Many believed Cleopatra's other sister Bernice poisoned her, as she took control after her sister's death. But she too was put to death upon her father's return.

When her father died, Cleopatra at 17 was forced to marry her 12 year old brother Ptolemy VIII (Yeah, Ptolemy was not very imaginative when it came to names). They ruled jointly for three years before Ptolemy's advisers, who found a twelve year old boy much easier to control than a headstrong woman who was bent on taking the reins of the country, drove her from Egypt.

Ptolemy made the misstep of murdering a war enemy of Caesar (who also happened to have been married to Caesar's daughter at one point) and Caesar attacked. Caesar usurped the capital, placing himself in charge of hearing the rival claims of the two siblings for the throne and Cleopatra saw an opportunity. She rolled herself in bedding and had it delivered to Caesar. Enamored of Cleopatra's ingenuity, he ruled in her favor.

Ptolemy, outraged, threw the equivalent of a royal temper tantrum, running to incite the mobs of Egypt against his sister, saying she would be Rome's puppet (which was pretty much the worst thing that could happen in the eyes of the Egyptians). Caesar's guards captured him and Caesar made a speech to the crowd, telling them the war he'd brought was over and they had nothing to fear from Rome (what captive nation hasn't heard that before?).

Ptolemy's advisors tried to lay siege to Alexandria and free their pharaoh. But Caesar's guards held the harbor and Ptolemy drowned in an escape attempt, leaving Cleopatra as ruler once more, this time with her younger brother Ptolemy XIV as her co-ruler. Caesar remained in Egypt, monitoring it as Egypt was an important source of grain and debt (Egypt owed them big time) to Rome.

Cleopatra became Caesar's lover, thinking to secure his protection over Egypt through giving him a son. And she did have his child, a son named Caesarion (little Caesar. Because heaven forbid the child of these men have an original name). Cleopatra took her son to Rome, where Caesar acknowledged the child as his and had a gold statue of Cleopatra erected. Caesar lavished them with favor and hospitality (which had the small side effect of ticking off a lot of the other powerful people in Rome. Oops). Things were going swimingly for the young queen.

But then Caesar was assassinated. Nothing was left to Cleopatra or Caesarion, and his stepson Octavian (rather than Caesarion) was named his heir. Cleopatra returned to Egypt to make sure her throne was secure (also, probably because with Caesar gone, no one in Rome was looking out for her). Once there she either poisoned her brother, Ptolemy XIV, or otherwise had him assassinated. Then she proclaimed her son co-regent of Egypt.

Now Marc Antony makes his grand entrance (come on, you know you were wondering where he's been). As lieutenant to Octavian, he summoned Cleopatra to answer questions about her loyalties to Caesar and to Rome. She arrived, dressed as Venus (Roman goddess of love) on a dazzling ship bedecked in finery, awing Antony so much that he spent his winter with her in Alexandria as her lover. She gave him twins, a son named Alexander Helios (finally! An original name! There's hope for you yet) and a daughter, Cleopatra Selene.

Antony had to return that spring to his wife in Rome, but four years later he returned to Cleopatra and gave her control over much of Syria, Palestine, and Cyprus, lands Egypt had tried to claim for generations but never held on to (and which weren't actually Antony's to give away. Uh-oh, you've angered the powerful people again). Cleopatra in turn agreed to fund his campaign against Armenia, which he returned from victorious.

Returning to Alexandria (where Cleopatra waited with another child of his) he proclaimed her Queen of Kings. He also proclaimed her son Caesarion as King of Kings, a title that had gone unclaimed since the time of Alexander the Great. All his children were given royal titles, even the youngest son, Ptolemy Philadelphus, just two when his father returned.

But, when he'd run into trouble on a campaign right before this, which Cleopatra also funded, he managed to piss off his wife Octavia, and his brother-in-law Octavian, ruler of Rome. *facepalm* And being a man with an ego, he did not try to make reparations with either of them. This, combined with the giving of titles and lands that weren't his to give and his marriage to Cleopatra, enraged the bigwigs of Rome and Octavian's fleet, captained by Marcus Agrippa was sent to stop Antony and Cleopatra from creating an empire of their own. Antony and Cleopatra could not defeat nor fend off the fleet.

Antony, refusing to accept the humiliation of capture committed suicide. Cleopatra, realizing that Octavian could not be wowed by her charms and skill, followed suit, letting herself be bitten by an asp. The snakebite was believed to confer immortality on those who died by it.

Sadly, Caesarion died a horrible death at the hands of his captors. Cleopatra and Antony's three children however were taken to Rome and reared by Octavia, Antony's ex-wife. The two boys died young, but Cleopatra Selene lived and was married to King Juba II of Numidia. They had two children, a son, Ptolemy of Mauretania and a daughter whose name is unknown.

Cleopatra is often painted by popular media as a woman who used her wiles and looks to get what she wanted. And she probably did. But she was more than simply a conniving woman with a flair for the dramatic. She was a skilled politician. She had to work to keep Rome from swallowing Egypt into its empire and she actually succeeded for a long time. Plus she made Egypt prosper out of a time of famine and disease and unrest.

If you want to read more about Cleopatra (in a YA setting) I suggest Cleopatra Rules!: The Amazing Life of the Original Teen Queen by Vicky Alvear Shecter (nonfiction. The voice can get a little annoying but it has a lot of really interesting information. And the voice doesn't get annoying until you've read it for a bit. I review it here) and The Royal Diaries: Cleopatra VII: Daughter of the Nile, Egypt, 57 B.C. by Kristiana Gregory (historical fiction. These books seem to be fairly accurate and have real pictures and information about what happens after the book ends).

A Crazy Man With A List

Probably everyone here has heard the phrase "Seven Wonders of the World" at least one time or another in their lives. And you probably know the basic implication behind the words. But while most people can name one or two, very few people know what all seven wonders are. Or even where the whole thing came from. I mean, who decided what these "wonders" were? Was it a committee or a king or the gods or a crazy man with a pen and a hat with a bunch of places in it and he picked seven at random?

Actually, it was a poet in Ancient Greece (which you know, may be the same as crazy man depending on your views on poets). The first reference to Seven Wonders of the World was actually written by Herodotus, a historian in the fifth century BC (Yes, I use BC and AD. Because I refuse to change to BCE and CE just for the sake of politeness or fearing backlash from the religious community. We've used this form for a few centuries people; I think you're safe.)

Sorry, where was I? Oh right, Herodotus. So, Herodotus wrote the first list of seven wonders, but the list we are most familiar with today (or supposed to be familiar with) was written by Antipater of Sidon, a poet from from the latter half of the second century (and I say he was a Greek poet, but he was actually from what is now Lebanon). He wrote short poems called elegiacs (don't ask me how to pronounce that because I have absolutely no idea) which are mournful funeral type poems.

He also was a lover of monuments and thus wrote a poem depicting those he believed to be the most impressive in the ancient world, as a way to show the might of the Greek Empire. Most of the places he had never even seen. But with only one change, this is the list we use to this day. (Antipater also has a Facebook page. And while there is nothing really on it, this amuses me to no end). So, on to the list!

1. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon

These gardens were ordered built by King Nebuchadnezzer (Neb-i-kuh-nez-er) II in the sixth century as a gift for his wife, Amytis, who missed her homeland. However, even though they are considered one of the wonders, it is uncertain whether or not they actually existed. The only references to them are made by Greek and Roman poets, who would have never seen them and the Babylonian records have no mention of them at all. And archaeologists can find no evidence of them, although it is a wonder anything survives for archaeologists to find considering how much cannot be preserved.

There is also a theory that these gardens were actually confused over time with another site built in Nineveh by Sennacherib, king of Assyria in 705 BC. He too constructed an elaborate garden, but his was located near the entrance to his palace on the eastern bank of the Tigris River in Assyria.

2. Statue of Zeus at Olympia, Greece

In 450 BC, the people of Olympia built a temple to honor the top god, Zeus. But when construction was completed, they found the temple wasn't grand enough for the King of the Gods, so they asked one of the finest sculptors in Greece, Phidias of Athens, to create a statue of Zeus for the temple. The finished product was as tall as a four story building, made of ivory and gold, with the king seated on a throne of cedar wood with gold, ivory, and precious gems.

When the Roman Empire took over and changed the official religion of the day to Christianity, many of the wealthy Greeks in the area took the statue to the palace in Constantinople (No, Istanbul. No, Constantinople. No, Istanbul), where it stayed until a palace fire fifty years later destroyed it. I bet that trip probably scared the crap out of many people on the travel route:

"Hey what's that?"

"Oh dear Zeus, it's alive! Run for your lives! Wait...oh, people are just moving him to Constantinople."

"Well of course, why didn't we think of that earlier?"

3. Temple of Artemis at Ephesus

This temple was dedicated to the virginal goddess of the hunt. It was built in 550 BC by a Cretan architect and his son. It is believed to be one of the first marble temples ever built.. In 356, a man named Herostratus set fire to the temple, hoping it would make him famous. Which I guess it kind of did, since we still know who he is. Alexander the Great offered to rebuild the temple for the city leaders, but they didn't want him putting his name on it, so they tactfully declined and paid for the reconstruction themselves. It took decades, but when they finished, the temple was as lovely as ever.

Aaaaaaaand then the Romans came through and destroyed it again in 262 AD. By this time, most of the citizens of Epheus had converted to Christianity and thus it wasn't a religious site the Romans destroy, but a heathen one that the Christian leaders ordered torn down. Only one of the 127 columns that originally made it up still remains. The marble was then repurposed for churches and roads.

4. The Great Pyramid at Giza

Of all the wonders, this is the one most people are able to remember. Pyramids were built as tombs for pharaohs and the Great Pyramid was built for a pharaoh named Khufu nearly 5,000 years ago in 2580 BC. This pyramid was built over a 20 year period and consists of over two million stones, each weighing over two tons. The structure is forty-five stories tall, making it the tallest structure in the world for over 3,800 years (the spire of Lincoln Cathedral in England surpassed it in 1300 AD). Now I wonder how Vector stole it in Despicable Me.

5. Mausoleum at Halicarnassus

This was the first mausoleum ever built (well, the first one to be called a mausoleum, since I suppose the pyramids hold the same purpose). It was built for a Persian satrap (a ruler in the Persian empire) named Mausolus and his sister wife Artemisia II of Caria (who was a strong and creepy woman. When Mausolus died, she ruled the land for two years. But during that time, she is also said to have drank a little bit of his ashes everyday and pined for him until her death).

Mausolus chose Halicarnassus as a new capital because he found it would be greatly sheltered from capture and invading armies (which is a big problem when you have empires trying to expand and running into each other). The couple built many expensive structures in their new capital and Artemisia planned this temple as a tribute that would forever stand as a testament to their riches.

On top of the Mausoleum is a twenty foot tall statue of a chariot that hold Artemisia and Mausolus, pulled by a four horse team. The entire building was the height of a fourteen story building and stood for more that 1,500 years, until an earthquake toppled part of it and human hand destroyed the rest.

6. Colossus of Rhodes

Now, before you start thinking this guy's name is Colossus, let me stop you right there. This statue, which guards the harbor of the city of Rhodes is actually of the sun god Helios. It was built to give thanks to their patron god after surviving a year long siege. The statue was paid for by the proceeds the people of Rhodes made when they sold the abandoned siege equipment for 300 talents (between thirty and forty thousand dollars today). It came to be known as the Colossus of Rhodes, most like because of it's huge size.

The statue took twelve years to complete and consisted of an iron framework, covered by sheets of bronze. It was as high as an 11 story building. About sixty years after its construction, an earthquake snapped the statue's knees and it fell to the ground, where it stayed until Arab armies raided Rhodes and took the statue apart. They then stole the pieces and sold them to a Syrian merchant who took them back to Syria and it was melted down.

7. Pharos of Alexandria

This is the one wonder that was originally different when Antipater wrote his list. He instead had the Ishtar Gate (which was the eighth gate to the inner city of Babylon, also built by King Nebuchadnezzer II). Obviously, this wonder was a lighthouse. It was built on the small island of Pharos to guide ships into the harbor in Alexandria, Egypt. It became so famous that over time, derivatives of the word pharos came to mean lighthouse in French, Italian, Spanish, Romanian, and Portuguese.

No one is actually sure what the lighthouse really looked like, but it was forty stories tall and could be seen by ships 35 miles out at sea. It stood for more than 1500 years, but two large earthquakes in the early 14th century caused major damage to the lighthouse. Any remnant of the building was destroyed when a medieval fort was built on the ruin using some of the stone in 1480. It was the sixth wonder to crumble.

So there you have it, the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. Now you can go and win that final Jeopardy question and all will be awed by your knowledge of the ancient world.

*And yes, I realize this is posted kind of late, but it's still technically Monday! And it's extra long to make up for missing so many posts

Chapter 7.4: Saint Valentine and A Message of Hope

So it's that time of year again, the day filled with groans, cheers, and chocolate. No, not Halloween. It's Valentine's Day. Or Singles Awareness Day if you feel kind of bitter about Valentine's Day. A hopeless romantic at heart, I like Valentine's Day and do not feel the need to rename it. I may not have a significant other, but I still love giving and getting Valentines from my friends and family. Plus I love hearing stories of sweet Valentine's that others have had.

And of course, I love to research things and so I went to look up the history behind Valentine's Day. The origins of the day aren't actually very well-known and the accepted story may be completely fabricated. But the most popularly believed story is that Saint Valentine was a priest under the reign of Emperor Claudius II. Claudius declared that young men in the army were forbidden to marry. Of course, many of the men still had sweethearts they wished to wed so Saint Valentine continued to marry couples in secret. At least two Valentines were martyred by Claudius on February 14th in different years of the 3rd century.

In Rome, during the same time, there was a pagan festival celebrating Juno, the Roman goddess of marriage and fertility. This festival was called Lupercalia and was held for three days, between February 13 and 15. During this festival, men slaughtered goats, dipped the hides in the animal's blood and then slapped women with the hides for fertility. Oh those wacky pagans.

Of course, when Christianity took over Rome, they had to rework the pagan holidays to fit in with their religion (goodbye solstice, hello Christmas). So to honor Valentine (supposedly) they created Saint Valentine's Day, the name of which was shortened over time. But how was romance tied to the day? Well in Lupercalia, the men would choose the name of a woman to be paired with for the festival (and maybe longer if they hit it off) for...fertility.

Today of course, this is really a holiday for the flower companies and candy people, as well as Hallmark. But it's also a day to just show you care. You don't have to have a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/lover to show that you care. You can offer to walk your neighbor's dog, give your babysitting services to your aunt (or parents depending on how young your siblings are), or baking cupcakes for your classmates (or study group or co-workers (but only the ones you like ;) )).

So along those lines, I would like to recognize an organization that is showing the world it cares and does it every day. The It Gets Better Project is an organization working to show gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender youth that life will get better. People can be cruel, especially high schoolers and middle schoolers. Now, imagine you have something different about you that makes you stand out when all you want is to be treated like everyone else. Having a sexuality different than heterosexual is akin to being the most stereotypical geek. Basically, anyone feels the slightest inclination to make your life hell (maybe they're afraid because you're different, maybe they fear their own sexuality, maybe they're just homophobic) will probably do so.

The It Gets Better Project lets those youth know they are not alone. They give encouragement to let them know that this time of your life will not last forever. It was created in response to the suicides of so many gay teens in 2010. And many celebrities and even normal people have lent their stories as encouragement.

I fully support this project. I am straight and avoided most teasing in school since I simply didn't let potential bullies think I cared (even when I did). And I got out early through the Running Start program. But my heart goes out to every teen who has every been bullied. Every teen who dreaded school because of being tormented, who ever thought that suicide was the only way they could leave that pain behind. High school seems like it will last forever and that even after school, there's no guarantee that things will improve.

I can't guarantee things will improve, no one can promise that 100%. But once you leave the narrow slice of humanity that occupies your high school, you'll find there are more people who care, more good people in the world than bad. There'll always be people who suck, who try to bring you down. But remember that you have amazing gifts. You are an individual with so much to offer the world and we need you. The world needs you so hold your head high and remember that It Gets Better.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone.