Saying Goodbye

I am sorry there has been so little activity here the past week or so. I didn't finish any books before Friday, so I didn't get a book blog done and then the whole weekend was a whirlwind of adventure and Monday I woke up sick. Plus this is my last week as an undergrad, so I have been a little busy with finals and packing and hanging out with friends just one last time before I leave. In light of this event, I have decided to postpone History Lesson Monday until next week and reflect instead on the last two years.

When I started at Western, I was kind of sickly and antisocial. It wasn't that I didn't like people; it was just that I believed being by myself was more important than actually spending lengthy amounts of time with friends. I was part of a couple of clubs and had fun, but I also spent a lot of my time reading or on my laptop in my room.

I'd never traveled outside the Pacific Northwest on my own. I had never been kissed. I'd never been to a party, outside of graduation and birthday parties. I wore glasses and was the very definition of a goody-two-shoes. I was much more emotionally reserved. I'd never considered myself beautiful or been on a real date or gone out with friends to a club. I procrastinated until the last moment on projects. I'd never written a blog in my life or made a YouTube video or been able to dance.

But I look back at that girl and think "She didn't have a bad life. It was actually pretty good. It was just missing things." And since I'd never had those things, I didn't realize they were missing until now. I thought I was a mature young woman, secure in who I was. And that was true, but I'd also kind of forgotten how to be a teenager. How to have fun and do stuff just because I can and I want to.

The people I've met in my time at Western have helped me grow so much into who I really am. And now that nerdy girl who loves books is melded with the girl who can look beautiful, go to parties, and have a blast just hanging out with friends. Especially hanging out without purpose (like going to a movie or studying for the SAT), which I never really got before now. I feel like I have a better grasp of who I am and who I want to be. And I of course have wonderful people who I can turn to if I ever need to talk.

To the Harry Potter Club people, who have made my Wednesday nights epic. You introduced me to A Very Potter Musical, which is where I discovered Darren Criss, who I love. From the movie nights where we lovingly mocked our fandom to the discussion nights where we talked about elf rights, whether Voldemort was a virgin, and all of the things that would have made the movies better (which no one besides the fans ever understands) to the Yule Ball, the best version of a school dance ever, you all have made my life amazing. And even if I don't make it back for many meetings, I will see you at the Yule Ball.

To the Glee Club, thank you for making me feel welcome, even when I felt like I was crashing your parties This applies to all of you, but especially Tom, who always says hi to me, and Lizzy, who made me feel like part of the group even when she didn't know me very well. Even just getting to do one number, one quarter, with you guys was fantastic. I love that breaking into song with you all is perfectly natural. Thank you for teaching me I am completely capable of learning choreography and for making the nights I've spent with you comfortable and amazing.

To all the people I met in London last summer, I've told you how much you mean to me, but just to tell you again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for working to draw me out of my shell and taking me under your wing. Thank you for looking after me and showing me I didn't have to choose between being the nerd or being the beauty. I will never forget that month of my life. It was one of the times I can pinpoint as being truly life-changing.

To Michelle, I am so glad I met you at Summerstart. You've been a wonderful friend and someone who gets me. I love that when I talk about Dresden or Tamora Pierce, you totally understand what I'm saying. I love that you will fangirl out with me and you understand about the voices in your head when writing. You are amazing and I hope to see your writing in stores one day.

To Libby, thank you for always being available to talk and letting me know I could drop by any time I needed. I never feel lonely, knowing I can just look out my window and see the light on in your room. Thank you for being there.

To Becky, thank you for being Darren's stalker with me. When it was just me alone, I never dreamed we could take him, but now we have a full-fledged plan. I'm glad I found someone as crazy as me who loves Starkid and baked a terribly sad but delicious pirate ship cake. Thank you for all the fun things you post on my wall and for being my partner in crime.

To Natalie and Chris and Erin and everyone else at the Hive, I wish I had hung out with all of you sooner because you are all fantastic people. Thank you for inviting me to your parties and letting me crash on your couch every time. And thanks for just letting me hang out and great conversations. I plan to attend as many of your parties as possible in the next year.

To Cortney and Sarah, thank you for the nights of hanging out, watching movies and chatting while Cortney did our hair and make-up. It was a great way to relax and have fun. I'm so glad I met you in Myth and Lit and I'm glad for the time I've spent with you.

To Alyssa, you've been the best Greek buddy I could hope for. You've made me laughing during class and after and I'm going to miss Greek next year. Thank you for making me take this final quarter of Greek and for reading the Black Dagger Brotherhood. I've enjoyed talking books with you and making up weird Greek sentences.

To all of Disney Club, we started small but we became a place where people could fall back into their love of childhood. You made my Halloweens wonderful and I'll never forget our sing-alongs or marathons or karaoke night.

To Johanna, you've been the best suitemate I could have hoped for. I'll miss nights with you and Ron, talking until 1 AM in the bathroom. If I could have chosen my suitemate, I couldn't have picked someone better than you. I know you will survive your history classes and do something wonderful. I'm going to miss living with you.

To Anne, you've also been a great suitemate. We didn't get to talk a lot, but you are sweet and patient and I'm glad you've been my neighbor.

To Lisa, who is crazy and wonderful and amazing. I am so glad I got to be your friend. You always make me smile and laugh and your art is fantastic. I love when you give me piggyback rides around the room. I hope to see you at another Hive party soon, where I'll let you nap on me and NOT fall down the stairs.

To anyone I missed, you have all touched my life so much. Coming to Western has been one of the best decisions I ever made. I hope to come back and visit as often as I can. Thank you all for making the last two years something I will never forget. I really did make friends I will never forget here.

We've got these Days of Summer to

remind us of each other

The time we have to spend apart

will keep us in each other's heart

I'm hopin' that the good old days are something

I will dream about at night

Don't matter if it's sooner or later

I know that it's gonna be alright

Don't wanna see you go

But it's not forever, not forever

Even if it was you know

that I would never let it get me down

'Cause you're the part of me

that makes me better wherever I go

So I will try not to cry

And no one needs to say goodbye.