Learn From My Mistakes

A short blog post today since I am gearing up for the zombie apocalypse tomorrow. Just ten hours until the virus hits campus. I am curling in a terrified bundle of stealth and ninja. I've survived before. I'm just hoping I make it through the coming days. Having been denied the full length of their brain eating time last fall, they are no doubt ravenous to descend upon the unsuspecting humans believing themselves to be survivors.

Since I am short on time (and quite possibly I forgot about this until just ten minutes ago (not saying I did, but it may be possible)) I have decided to give some advice. Not specifically advice for the zombie apocalypse, but just advice in general.

• Do not be so competitive (with other people, with yourself, etc.) that you take on more than you can handle. Such as, oh I don't know, doing NaNoWriMo on top of taking 19 credits. This will end up with a stress migraine, late nights, and panic.
• Always make sure the tap on the side of the sink is soap and not scalding hot water. Otherwise you will feel like you have taken a lighter to your hand anytime water touches it for the rest of the day.
• It is probably not a good idea when you already have bruises on your arm to go and do the same thing you did to get those bruises in the first place. Then you have bruises on your bruises and that just can't be a good thing.
• If you are short, you will always look a little younger than your age (unless you become like a chain smoker or something). Accept this fact and embrace it. Yes, you will get carded for most of the rest of your life, but hey, you look young enough to get carded. And later in life that'll make you feel good (or so I'm told).
• When you are young (especially if you have a nosy sibling) don't keep your private thoughts in a diary that screams "READ ME! I'LL GIVE YOU BLACKMAIL!" (although if you can find a real talking diary I give you kudos). Instead, keep a black school spiral or notebook as your journal. Your siblings don't want to know about algebra and cell division any more than you do.
• You don't have to only have one identity. And you don't have to keep the same identity you decide on in middle school for the rest of your life. Although the book Tender Morsels was slightly disturbing and very odd, they got that point right (and I may have learned this in London).
• You are not necessarily crazy if you hear voices in your head, but if they do anything other than tell you stories, you should probably just talk to a professional about it. It may be nothing but better safe than sorry.
• Hope is a burden and a gift. The ability to hope means that we keep waiting for something better, believing that if we are patient enough it will happen and we pursue dreams after they've died. However, with hope even in the darkest of times we can find the light that keeps us pushing forward, wending our way through the forest until we emerge in a better place.
• Have a spotter when you use a roll-y chair to reach high up places (trust me on this).
• You can only do somersaults from a standing position if a) you are a child and therefore close to the ground or b) have practiced how not to hurt your back when you go down. Similarly, never try a backbend without a spotter when you haven't done them before. you will hit your head and it will hurt.
• You always need to put water in the bottom of a rice steamer AND in with the rice.
• Never cook Easy Mac without water.
• Never put a paper cup with a wax coating on the outside in the microwave. It will smolder or catch on fire and then the whole school will have to leave lunch for the fire drill formation.

These are just some things I've learned. There's probably a lot more but I have to get up for school in the morning. Please, learn from my mistakes. It's easier than having to make the mistake yourself. That's why I don't think the temperatures on the oven correspond to how much of a hurry you're in ;)