Chapter 2.4: Fantasy Bar Fight

So, you know how people do those fantasy football leagues? Where you pick your players and then go up against other people's dream teams? Essentially this is sports for those of us who can't play. If nerds like sports, this would be perfect us, letting us be competitive and sporty without the hindrances of coordination and endurance. (By the way, I actually went and looked up Fantasy Football as I had absolutely zero knowledge about it. Plus, I really don't care. See what I do for you?)

Well, I think there should be Fantasy Character Bar Fight leagues. You take the most badass, don't-mess-with-me-or-I'll-mess-you-up characters who love from your favorite books, movies, TV shows, and then pit them against each other. This totally sounds like a league I could get into (as could many nerds and even non-nerds. It's a league with something for everyone!) In fact, I've already started thinking about my team.

The Black Dagger Brotherhood: Yes, I realize this is a group of fighters, but seriously, I'd be okay with any one of them backing me in a fight. They are all at least 6'5", and weigh no less than 260 pounds, all of that muscle. And they have fighting in their DNA. The Brothers are engineered to kill and fight. Plus that's not even counting Rhage and his beast or Vishous' brand of weird abilities.

Harry Dresden: First of all, he can do magic. And he does it fast and well. He also understands that just straight magic is not the best course all the time. He is not averse to using fists or guns or even swords when it comes down to it. And if you push him, he's got a lot of rage bottled up. He's a good guy, but I'd stay on his good side.

Voldemort: Yes, I wanted him to be defeated as much as anyone. But you have to admit, he was pretty diabolical. Mostly he lost due to poor planning and lack of information. I think if someone else did the directing in a fight, he'd be of good use. Maybe give him a wand that's Unforgivable Curse restricted though

Bones (Jeaniene Frost): Bones is someone you do not want to be on the bad side of. He is fiercely loyal and he protects him own. And his threats aren't threats; they're promises. And he possesses the martial arts abilities that it seems all supernatural creatures are born knowing. I'd definitely want him to have my back.

Iron Man (Tony Stark): I haven't seen the second movie yet and i haven't read the comics, so this is based on the very limited knowledge I have, but Stark seems like a suave, smirky, badass. I mean, have you seen the tiny rockets he shoots? Those things are cool. And he can fly. I think that would probably come in handy. I don't know when, but at some point.

Algaliarept (Kim Harrison): He's a demon, but I kinda like him. And he has more than a few tricks up his sleeves for when things get hairy. Actually, he has more tricks than a Vegas magic act. And what he has, he squeezes the most use he can out of it. He's slippery and awesome.

Before you start thinking I'm sexist (which against my own gender would be kind of odd), there are also quite a few women I'd like at my back (or in front of my back. I'm not really going to be much use in a fight).

Rachel Morgan (Kim Harrison): Rachel's gotten better and better at fast, battlefield magic. Especially using ley lines. And she is also one of those who can use simple charms and yet make them count. Plus, she likes to kick ass the old-fashioned way too. She's awesome.

Cat Crawford AKA The Red Reaper (Jeaniene Frost): Cat doesn't just trick vamps into thinking she's a snack; she also brawls with them to the death (theirs). She's fast, she's strong, and she's unrelenting. She will Take. You. Out. Do not threaten her or get on her bad side.

Kate Beckett: This New York police detective catches murderers for living. And my guess is they never go quietly. She's not just smart, she's ready to take you out if you resist. I'd suggest not making her mad.

I'm sure there are plenty more people who would be great for this league. So what about you? Who would you want on your team? I call Spike ;)