Chapter 3.5: The Zombie Apocalypse

The zombie plague has broken out at WWU. It broke at 7 this morning. Save yourselves!

Are you curious what I'm going on about?

Well are you?

Are you sure you want to know?

You can't unknow what is known.

Okay, you asked for it. In the Fall and Winter, a giant game of tags breaks out across the campus. It's called Humans vs. Zombies. You start with 12 origin zombies (identified by the orange bands around their head), the source of the virus. Their job is to turn the humans (identified by the orange armbands around their upper left arm) into zombies to take over the campus. The humans are armed with Nerf guns (unpainted, unmodified) and balled up socks. Those who survive are revered by their peers. Those who fail are mourned and killed.

I've been asked to play before and resisted, but this time I caved. So now I am a human, with a single gun, a purse of socks, terrible endurance and bad aim. But I'm not too bad at being small and unnoticed, which I hope to use to my advantage. Plus I don't have to leave my room very often. And I never eat in the Commons, which is prime hunting ground for the zombies.

A word to any other survivors out there who are new to this: Do. Not. Go. To. The Commons. This advice will serve you well. Stock up on Ramen, beg food off of non-player roommates and friends, but do not eat there unless you feel you can fight your way out of the horde easily. And if you haven't played before, you are not that person.

As a side note, the best place to watch the horde attack is the Library Skybridge. I sat up there for a bit today and just watched zombies and humans running and dodging and stunning and turning. It was great. And this game brings people together. As a human, if you have an orange armband and someone else has an orange armband you feel a small bond with them. And you at least nod in approval as they pass. It's grand.

We lost 80 people to the horde today. 80 people became zombies, concerned only with chasing humans down for their delectable minds. A moment of silence. Another note to newbies: Do not go through Red Square if you can help it. The horde gathers there like lions around a watering hole, waiting for the wildebeest to arrive.

And if you think I have no place to give this advice, heed me well. I may not have played, but I have friends who are masters zombie killers and survivors. I also have those who have fallen. I know of what I speak.

And so we survive to another day. For the lost, I mourn you, but I shall try to survive. For the living, travel in packs, travel vigilant, don't be a hero. The war will hopefully end soon. ;)