Chapter 3.8: Halloween Treats

So as everyone knows (unless they've been trapped in a cage by a mad scientist, in which case you're excused. Yes, that is the only allowable excuse) Halloween is on Sunday. Now, I'm not a huge Halloween nut like some people *coughRoncough* (for those who don't know, Ron is my roommate. And she takes her Halloween seriously. I'm talking lights, carved pumpkins, decorations etc. Our window has stick-on blood on it right now and our door is covered with a sound activated ghost pirate, spiderwebs, mummies, and eyeball lights).

But I do enjoy it. Especially dressing up, because it's really the one day as year (outside of places like ComicCon and other conventions) that you can dress like your favorite book character and no one blinks. Or you can be something like a huge pumpkin and people just say "Neat costume dude." It gives the nerds like me (and more so those nerds like me who can actually sew and create amazing costumes) a chance to be free to fly our colors. Our very odd, quirky, obscure colors. Like chartreuse and heliotrope and aquamarine and citrine (note to anyone out there thinking about flying these colors, do not put them all together into one flag. That would be freaking blinding).

I also enjoy the wonderful treats that people make during this season. Of course, you have the fantastic array of packaged candy you can buy at the store. Have you seen those lately? Some of them are monsters! I swear some of the bags weigh at least a third of what I do and will give you a sugar high inside of three minutes.

Now, for those who are unaware, there is of course a trick-or-treat candy hierarchy. Some candy is simply better than others. At the very bottom, you have the houses that give out raisins. These houses may be egged by the older and less charitable trick-or-treaters. A step up from there are the popcorn balls and chips. They are a novelty, some kids may enjoy them. They don't beat chocolate, but they're definitely better than raisins. Fruit snacks also sit around this level.

Actually candy corn, that seasonal death candy that for some reason people flock to, may be below raisins. Yes that's right, they've created a level below raisins, the ultimate trick-or-treating downer. Congratulations to Death Corn and it's compatriot, the Candy Pumpkin of Doom. (as a note, these candies do have one purpose that may set them slightly above raisins. You can make some pretty fantastic jewelry out of them. Check it out on Epbot)

Next you have Dots. I know some people like them, but personally, I never ate those. Most candy that isn't chocolate hangs out here, waiting for the chocolate to be gone from the candy bowl so that it may eventually get eaten. This includes caramels, Dum Dums, bubble gum, Mike and Ikes, Skittles, and flavored Tootsie rolls. This is not to say those candies don't have value, but speaking from experience, they're what's left in the huge tub three years later when your mom decides that the candy has hung around long enough. Carmel Apple Pop (in a league of their own, do not reside in this tier).

Then are the more obscure chocolate treats. Things like Almond Joys, Whoppers, Milk Duds, Junior Mints, regular Tootsie Rolls etc. Often this candy is enjoyed, but is held in reserve until the top tier of candy has been eaten. The novelty candy, those shaped like fingers or lips, the eyeballs filled with caramel and peanut butter, are also here. As does the Caramel Apple Pop

Now you're getting to the chocolate that draws in the crowds. You have Milky Ways, Snickers, Babe Ruth, Butterfinger, Twix. Then, on the tier that is the gold standard of the Halloween cache are Hershey's bars (or any of the miniatures in the Hershey's bag), Reese's cups and pieces, M&Ms, Kit Kat, and Crunch bars. The ultimate in kid (or adult trick-or-treater) nirvana is to get an actual full size candy bar. Especially if it's King Sized.

The sad thing about the world now is that packaged candy is as good as you can get. Because I remember, at least for a little while when I was a little kid (or maybe this was before my time, I'm not sure) when you could get a baked goody from a neighbor. Or even just having homemade treats for the Halloween party at school. That is the really gold standard, but with all the fear and danger in the world, unless the parents is absolutely certain about the adult providing the treat, children aren't allowed to eat them. They could be poisoned, contain drugs, be unsanitary, any number of things and it's really sad.

Now, I can't really bake (I'm going to learn how soon and after I graduate Mom and I are going to bake once a month) but I love seeing creative Halloween treats. Things like hot dog mummies and punch that froths and ghost sticks and pumpkin cakes. I miss those days. next Halloween (or even this Halloween if you have the time and inclination) I say we take back the night and spread the joy of homemade. Maybe you just talk with the parents of trick-or-treaters, maybe you hold a spooktastic bake sale, maybe you just do something special for yourself and a few friends. Whatever you do, let's bring back the spirit of Halloween in our food. Just to get you started, here are a couple sites with spooky recipes:
Sweet Treats
Family Fun
Spook Spectacular

Be safe and be a kid again. Happy Halloween.